Location: Cornwall, United Kingdom

Monday, December 12, 2005

Evil Shetlands and imminent birth

We all went up to Weston to see Nx and Gz last Sunday. It rained most of the time. The car got so dirty S had to clean it yesterday. This is becoming an annual event for him.

Nx looked very well, and we were all surprised she hasn’t given birth already. We had lunch in this great pub at the edge of some hills called Mendip, which strikes me as a particularly stupid name for a range of hills; good name for a swimming pool at which women are barred, though. The pub owners are singularly enlightened, as they let dogs in. I sat by the table through lunch, and was composed, polite and decorous in every way. I did bark once when the excitement became too unbearable, and the food was looking like all going elsewhere; everyone in the pub jumped. Did the trick though: I got some steak from G’s huge pie, which was of Desperate Dan proportions, and some of Nx’s chips. Didn't get any of her sandwich, however.

They still don’t know what sex the puppy-child will be; I was one of eight or nine. I can’t be sure, because I couldn’t count when I was a pup. Half of us were white, the other half black, like our mother. I wonder if this means that Nx and Gz’s baby will be half-blond, half-dark, like a badger.

I was almost relieved when we left after lunch, as Nx was getting all the attention. I wish I’d had pups. I’d have been a great bitch mother. Wonder if Nx knows the nip-them-in-the-neck technique when they’re naughty. I got that a lot. Didn’t do me any harm. Went to see Mary for a bit, and I had a sniff round the garden. Fish have all gone, so no danger of being nipped if I go for a quick dip now. Dogdip hills: that's a good name.

G was home all last week after the Sunday trip. She has her own business line now in her office, and the blackberry, which makes her swear. She’s very self-disciplined. If I worked from home I’d spend all my time sleeping. Come to think of it, I do anyway.

G bought me a bone on Thursday. It upset my stomach all weekend, so I was thrilled. Haven’t had S up at 3 am for ages. Didn’t really feel ill by then, just wanted to make him walk me down to the field. Couldn’t chew grass because of the frost; bit like long green ice-lollies. Good for rolling in.

To Trelissick yesterday. There was a Cornish food fair and crafts, with Father Christmas and nativity animals. Can’t have been the actual donkeys and that, but at least they made the effort. Fooled the toddlers, but not me. Shetland ponies had evil eyes, which they tried to conceal. G bought some expensive soap that smelt like it was made from a puddle in a cow byre. There were some excellent pasties and things on sale, but did they buy any for the dog? Oh, no.

S says he wants to stop now, as he’s tired after preparing all his work for the week in case he has to rush off to see the new grandchild. Don’t see why we can’t just webcam like anyone else…Not that big a deal if you ask me. See one litter, see them all…