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Location: Cornwall, United Kingdom

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Horror cats and hyacinths

I have received another response to my blog, this time, can you believe it, from a cat. I am horrified. I have devoted my life to the destruction, intimidation and some other word ending in tion of cats. I hate them. They serve no logical purpose. Why should a rat, a mouse a cat have life? They are vermin. They inhabit the sewers of normal life. They are despicable. If there were cartoons of them, I would have no problem.

I don’t understand Maisie’s rather cryptic comments in her response. Does she have a drug problem? She and her sharp-toothed friend do not seem to correspond to normal civilised conventions; she is a non-cat. I do not recognise her. She and her acolytes are the spawn of Sheba. May they suffer from blocked flaps, and an armed insurrection of the rodent tribe.

Meanwhile, if I can return to proper blogging duties…

Mary went home, and seems to be doing ok. S’s mum has broken her wrist; I think tripped in the night by an errant feline. G has gone to some place called Barnstaple. Sounds more like a record label.

R and his chums had better watch out: there is such a thing as a Brontefada. Maisie is not beyond the scope of the retroodle network: we have been watching her. Video evidence may well soon be released.

S & G are about to be visited by the new grandchild. If he cries, he’s toast.

They may not share my views on that, but as G. Galloway would say, hey, do I care?

S made me watch Fahrenheit 9/11 the last two nights. Made me think. Felines of mass destruction: watch out. We are on to you. With your little velvet paws. Your little teeth. Your flaps. You are the liminal ones.

The squirrels have eaten the hyacinths.

The horse blocks the path in the mornings. S has to move him, but fears the hoofs. Hooves? Roof, rooves? Style guide, I need you. I’m a dog, not a prescriptivist. I don’t care, I just read James Meek’s People’s Act of Love, and I favour the Mohican. Read it and weep.

Lost the thread there. Tired. Need sleep.